Sept 24: Let's Get Uncomfortable

Don’t mess with the bear: Stop with the sexism

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I’ve been running a business for around 13 years, if there is one thing I hate above all else it is the questions women are asked that no one would even think to ask a man.

First, let me define sexism for readers. Merriam-Webster defines it as:

1prejudice or discrimination based on sex especiallydiscrimination against women
2behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex
Need an example? Here are the questions I am often asked:
  • How do you balance work and life? Um…is that even a serious question? I run a business, no one has fucking work/life balance you twit.
  • How old are your kids? This one is my favorite, I’m not even asked if I have kids, it is a given I would have them…because what woman doesn’t fulfill the role they are placed on this earth for? By the way, sarcasm is heavy in this blog. Read on if you dare.
  • How is your little business doing? Oh really good, between keeping up on housework and making delicious meals for my husband, I have managed to run a business for 13 years that is fueled on the tears of interns.
  • How does your husband deal with your schedule? I don’t know, I chain him to a bed and feed him periodically…seems to be fine when I see him.
  • Do you only hire attractive females? Yep, all ugly trolls are stopped at the door and sent on their way.
  • How does your husband feel about all the men you spend time with? What a great question! Well, I make sure any male that is within 10 feet of me is made aware that I am happily married, then I flash my ring in his face and only talk about what a wonderful man my husband is…I make sure to really drive that point home. I also review my schedule with my husband every Sunday so he knows who I’m meeting with and when, he then gives me permission to run my business.
  • There is still time to have kids. I know, I know, this isn’t a question…it’s a statement…which should say it all.
  • Who will take care of you in your old age? If that is your retirement plan, you are a moron. What kid wants to be strapped with their aging parents? I plan to have 100 dogs and they will probably eat me when I pass away. Too much? Ah well, thanks for asking.

I had to stop at eight or this blog was going to be a novel, maybe there will be part 2, depends on demand.

Before you get all defensive, I know these questions are not ill-intended but that in no way makes them excusable. 

Stop. Think. Then open mouth.

I’m really sick of answering these questions, I’m also sick of women being viewed as a weaker sex that somehow can’t share in the same accomplishments as a man. As women, we get defensive and begin listing all the things we do, manage and keep together to ensure everyone around us is taken care of…and we need to stop.

Listen up ladies, stop being so damn nice about sexism. Be sarcastic, forceful, abrasive, aggressive, forward (all the adjectives that are used against us) in your responses.

For example “Why don’t you have kids?”

My Answer: “My uterus was ripped out by scavenging bears, I’m lucky to be alive…thanks for bringing up that painful memory.”

See, easy peasy. Don’t let sexism win or be excused.

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We were not prepared for perimenopause, much like our periods, sex, or anything else to do with our bodies. God forbid we talk about it openly.

We were taught to be ashamed, keep quiet, and to just accept it’s part of being a woman.

I reject that narrative. In fact, I like to bring it up in every conversation. Does that make you uncomfortable? Good.

When we normalize perimenopause and the conversation around it, we stop isolating, and we’re all more prepared for this sh*tshow.

Come to Uncomfortable Conversations: The Pause on September 24th. Go register; it’s gonna be a powerful convo, and @8thirtyfour is partnering with the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan Michigan Women’s Business Council. Link in bio.
You are the hero in your own story.
Be like Leslie and believe it.

Come to the Big Deal Energy Workshop, I’ll show you how.

It’s personal branding with a shot of tequila. Link in bio.
Perimenopause is brain fog, insomnia, rage (so much rage), hair loss, hair growth in the wrong places and you either want to throat punch someone or cry. Did I mention the f*cking rage?

The next Uncomfortable Conversation in partnership with the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan 

This is an issue affecting over 50% of our population and 44.6% of businesses in Michigan. Uncomfortable Conversations | The Pause will focus on the impact on our businesses, workplace policies, and improving access to education + resources.
Just some friendly career advice for young professionals or students in internships. Say yes.

Say yes to the after-hour thing. Say yes to the early morning thing. Say yes when your boss asks you to come to something - happy hour, networking event, whatever it is. SAY YES.

You know who gets the job and opportunities? The ones who show up, volunteer, and add value. 

Say yes to the additional learning, the webinar, the networking event...the everything.

Sincerely,

Every business owner everywhere.