The holidays, am I right? What a shitshow. I like to give so much I have nothing left, then I’m resentful and bitter. Good times. I should point out it isn’t just the holidays. We, women, do this 24/7.
Women often bear the emotional, physical, and mental burden of holidays, birthdays, vacations, anniversaries, and home management. But why? The simple answer? No one else will. To be clear, I mean men and kids. They look at us and think, well, they certainly have it under control, so no need to offer any assistance or even a thank you. Since we’ve been doing it for years and years and took up right where their mothers left off, why would they take on any of the responsibility?
Let me share an example. My darling husband, who most of you know, was told to manage the gifts for his family this year. I’ve had quite a bit on my plate, a story for another day, and I just did not have the bandwidth to tackle it. Here we are, 2 days before his family’s Christmas party. Do we have any gifts? I’ll let you take a wild guess on that answer. I have two choices 1. Do nothing and feel like an asshole, or 2. Scramble to pull something together.
It’s a no-win situation. If we show up with nothing, guess who gets blamed? Now, he might say, “Well, I dropped the ball,” but they’re all thinking, “Why the hell did she put him in charge of anything?” If we show up with presents, which is exactly what will happen cause I’ll feel like an asshole otherwise, he gets 1/2, if not most, of the credit. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Seriously, how f*cking exhausting. Why do they get a free pass? Why does everyone?
If you’re reading this, do me and all of the females in your life a solid. Say thank you, or better yet, do something. Step up and take on some of the emotional, mental, and physical load.
And if you’re a kid, or younger person and you get a gift or something thoughtful – say thank you FFS. Write a thank you note and show gratitude. Why is that so damn hard for some people? And if I hear one more time, “Well, if you made me a list, I’d do it,” or “you just have to ask.” Really? Do you ask us to pick up your slack, manage the bills, plan the vacations, coordinate the holidays, get the gifts, send the cards, clean the house, decorate for the holidays…in general, do EVERYTHING?
Nope. Cause we see a need and then do something about it. We don’t sit around and wait for someone to tell us what to do. As the great Will Ferrell said at a recent speaking engagement, “Isn’t it just time for women to run the planet?”
In response, we’d like to say, get the f*ck out of our way.
