For years, I saw my gender as a weakness. Working in manufacturing and medical devices industries dominated by men with egos the size of Texas—I did everything I could to blend in. I ignored or laughed at inappropriate jokes, went to the strip club (that’s a story I’ll tell over iced red wine), and pretended the casual (nothing casual about it) sexism didn’t bother me. “I’m not like other girls” was my unspoken mantra, as if being “other girls” was somehow a liability.
What a load of horseshit that was.
I also used to avoid women’s organizations like the plague. I thought they were just glorified book clubs where we’d all sit around talking about our feelings and complaining about men.
Turns out I was wrong. And it took me way too long to figure that out.
The Real Ways Women Support Each Other
Now, I see the countless ways women prop each other up in business, often without fanfare or recognition. These aren’t cute, Instagram-worthy moments. This is the real, gritty, behind-the-scenes work that actually moves the needle:
Being vulnerable about our failures. We all fuck up. All of us. When I share my biggest mistakes (and trust me, I’ve made some doozies), I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m trying to save another woman from driving off the same cliff. Every failure I’ve shared has resulted in at least one woman saying, “Thank God, I thought I was the only one.”
Making time for each other. When a woman emails me asking for advice or a quick call, I respond. Always. Even when I’m drowning in work and my inbox is a dumpster fire. Why? Because some woman did it for me when I was starting out, and that 15-minute call changed my trajectory.
Learning from our collective history. I’m currently reading The Sisterhood : The Secret History of Women at the CIA. These women faced misogyny so profound it would make your head spin. They were treated like secretaries or playthings by men half as competent as they were. How did they survive? They had each other. They shared tactics, warned each other about the worst offenders, and created systems to protect one another.
Creating our own spaces. Maybe it’s a formal organization like WIPP. Maybe it’s a casual meet-up of SINK (Single Income No Kids) or DINK (Double Income No Kids) professionals. Maybe it’s Women in Contracting or Women Against Misogyny (now I’m just making shit up, but we’re all against that). The point is, create the space you need with the women who get it.
Embracing feminism without apology. When did feminism become a dirty word? It’s not about hating men or burning bras (two things I do embrace). It’s about equality, opportunity, and not being treated like you’re less-than because you have a uterus. Full stop.
The Small Acts That Make a Big Difference
Some of the most powerful support happens in small, everyday moments:
Sending encouragement. I troll Etsy constantly for snarky, offensive cards to send to women in my network. Nothing says “you’ve got this,” like a card that reads “You’re a badass bitch, and don’t you forget it,” arriving on a tough day.
Owning our power. For fuck’s sake, stop downplaying your accomplishments. “Oh, it was nothing” or “I just got lucky” has never once passed a man’s lips when describing how he closed a seven-figure deal. Own your brilliance. Say “thank you” instead of “oh, it was nothing.”
Using our voices. With the current administration, we’re watching The Handmaid’s Tale play out in real-time. The Equal Rights Amendment still hasn’t passed. If there was ever a time to speak up against discrimination, it’s now. Use your voice. Use your vote. Use your wallet.
Mentoring the next generation. Yes, they’ve been coddled. Yes, their social skills sometimes make me want to bang my head against a wall. But they’re facing challenges we never did, and they need our hard-knock lessons more than ever. Be the mentor you needed when you were starting out.
The Path Forward
I still work with plenty of men and I’ll always enjoy throwing a few back (I’ve never said that phrase in my life ever, but I’m gonna start) and can curse with the best of them. But I’ve stopped pretending that my gender is irrelevant to my experience in business.
The strongest professional relationships I have now? They’re with women who’ve been through the same trenches, who understand the unspoken rules we all navigate, and who are committed to changing the game for those coming up behind us.
So join that women’s organization. Start that group text with the women in your network. Send that email to the woman whose career you admire. Speak up in that meeting when your colleague gets interrupted.
Because the truth is, in a world that wasn’t built for us, the best foundation we have is each other.
