Imposter syndrome won this past weekend. I think I spent most of Sunday staring at a wall, contemplating all of my failures. What a great time. Highly recommend spending your day like this.
I don’t typically sit around and feel sorry for myself, but these past two years have been absolutely brutal. It caught up with me. I was trying to record a video about our Michigan Celebrates Small Business Women-Owned Small Business of the Year recognition. I told Josh, “This is just bullshit; I feel like a complete fraud. This should be easier; why is it still so hard after 15+ years?”
God bless this man; he just looked at me and said, “Maybe now isn’t the best time for you to make this video.”
Sometimes, the most obvious answer is the best one. Did I listen? No, I tortured myself for a good two hours. I think at one point, I just stared unblinking at the camera; it would make for some really great TV.
I tried to focus on the lessons learned or the advice I would give to other small business owners. I think at one point I said, “Don’t do it; it’ll haunt you the rest of your life. You’ll never sleep again,” – really inspirational stuff.
There were a few gems that came out of my own reality television show.
- Invest in a therapist. Seriously, your anxiety will thank you. So will your spouse.
- Surround yourself with bossy, smart, and no-nonsense women. If I had called any of them yesterday, they would’ve told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and shut the hell up.
- Start a blog site so you can torture other people with your problems.
- Get a dog or eight. You don’t have enough chaos in your life, so be sure to create some. Make sure they all wear diapers. It’ll be fun.
- Get personally invested in everything; that way, you’ll take everything personally and never get over it.
- Buy a building; you can live there someday.
- Always send that email or text when you’re angry. Don’t sit on it for 24 hours, that’s just silly. Fire it off right when your emotions are at an all-time high.
- Hire family. Trust me, it’ll work out.
I think I feel a blog or video series coming on. I can interview everyone who hates me for one reason or another.
I think I’ll invest in that punching bag my therapist recommends every session. Not really sure what she’s trying to get at, but if anything, I can build some arm muscles.
Please enjoy this photo of me, that sums up my day yesterday.
