Sept 24: Let's Get Uncomfortable

Sorry, Not Sorry.

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Kim Bode relaxes on a patio with a glass of iced wine in her hand. A speech bubble says, "Sorry, not sorry."

STOP.

I wrote Stop Apologizing in 2017, and if I’m being honest, it pisses me off that I’ve been saying the same thing for a decade. I’m nothing if not consistent. 

I’m still watching women make themselves smaller for others’ comfort. Apologizing for existing is costing all of us.

It is long past time for women to own their power, space, voice, and that’s gonna require us to stop apologizing.

DON’T GIVE THEM A REASON

Saying in a meeting, “Sorry, can I jump in?” tells everyone you don’t think you belong in the conversation. Emailing a client with “so sorry to bother you with this,” tells them their time matters more. Ending a brilliant idea with “but I could be wrong” discredits your experience, skills and accomplishments.   

We were raised to be agreeable, polite, palatable, and small; don’t you kind of think that shit is played out? Just look around, does it look like men being in charge is working for us?

DO THIS

Share your point of view. Take up the space. If Bob can interrupt three people to repeat what you already said, you can speak up without a preamble.

Ask for what you’re worth. Drop the dollar amount, do not fill the silence, and let them respond. Do not soften the ask with “I know this might be a lot.” You’ve FUCKING earned this. 

Deliver hard news. Whether it’s letting someone go, telling a client the project is off track, or telling your team the strategy is changing, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this” makes you look unsure of the decision- be clear, not sorry.

Set boundaries. No is a complete sentence. “Sorry, I can’t take that on right now” turns a boundary into an apology. Say “that’s not something I can take on” and watch the world keep spinning.

Exist in a room. Walk in, sit down, take the last seat, be early, be on time, be the only woman, be the loudest woman, be the quietest woman; none of it requires an apology.

Disagree. You can be respectful and direct without leading with: “Sorry, I see it differently.” 

Take up space. If you’re in the meeting, you belong in the meeting. If you have the floor, you have the floor. 

Be good at your job. Win the account, get the promotion, hit the number, build the thing; celebrating yourself is not arrogance, it’s warranted.

Change your mind. We’re allowed to evolve without filing a formal apology.

Your body, your face, your voice, your laugh, your hair, your outfit, your tattoos, your age, your everything. You don’t owe anyone a smaller version of yourself.

Stop apologizing. Own it. 

Oh, and register for the Big Deal Energy workshop, spend time with other badass women. 

Your Big Deal Energy is waiting. Register for the next workshop.

Stop following the rules meant to keep you small. Step into your Big Deal Energy™

Workshop Length: 2.5 hours, in-person  |  Methodology: QUIRKS™  |  Price: $249 per person

Group pricing available for teams of 3 or more.

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We were not prepared for perimenopause, much like our periods, sex, or anything else to do with our bodies. God forbid we talk about it openly.

We were taught to be ashamed, keep quiet, and to just accept it’s part of being a woman.

I reject that narrative. In fact, I like to bring it up in every conversation. Does that make you uncomfortable? Good.

When we normalize perimenopause and the conversation around it, we stop isolating, and we’re all more prepared for this sh*tshow.

Come to Uncomfortable Conversations: The Pause on September 24th. Go register; it’s gonna be a powerful convo, and @8thirtyfour is partnering with the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan Michigan Women’s Business Council. Link in bio.
You are the hero in your own story.
Be like Leslie and believe it.

Come to the Big Deal Energy Workshop, I’ll show you how.

It’s personal branding with a shot of tequila. Link in bio.
Perimenopause is brain fog, insomnia, rage (so much rage), hair loss, hair growth in the wrong places and you either want to throat punch someone or cry. Did I mention the f*cking rage?

The next Uncomfortable Conversation in partnership with the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan 

This is an issue affecting over 50% of our population and 44.6% of businesses in Michigan. Uncomfortable Conversations | The Pause will focus on the impact on our businesses, workplace policies, and improving access to education + resources.
Just some friendly career advice for young professionals or students in internships. Say yes.

Say yes to the after-hour thing. Say yes to the early morning thing. Say yes when your boss asks you to come to something - happy hour, networking event, whatever it is. SAY YES.

You know who gets the job and opportunities? The ones who show up, volunteer, and add value. 

Say yes to the additional learning, the webinar, the networking event...the everything.

Sincerely,

Every business owner everywhere.